Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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