Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
