Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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