you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
