she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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