were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
