She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
