I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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