So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
