I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
