ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
either way he was missing a nipple.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
