thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
