This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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