my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize