Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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