We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
