I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
