they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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