Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
