Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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