ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
