don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
