hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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