the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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