Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
