I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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