She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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