Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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