i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
