I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
