i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
