Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
