Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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