im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
