i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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