ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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