I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
