how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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