You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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