And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize