Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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