The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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