Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We're too hungover to prance.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize