Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
