just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize