One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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