its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
