did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
