mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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