so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
