I hate your face
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Everyone says I win the strip club
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
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