your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
