is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
