He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
