She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Randomize