We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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