Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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