We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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