her vagine was all disorganized.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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