I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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