so explain again why im purple
no
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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